Roller-Coasters

Oh dear. Over a month since my last scribble. Well, since August 7...

- A lovely family holiday in Barcelona. Judith and I, plus Holly and Alannah (who decided to come this year - could it have been the choice of destination?), our niece Emma, and Grandad had 8 days in an amazing city. It was our first visit, at the recommendation of Daniel, who had spent New Year there, and who turned up en route between Romania and Madrid to stay with us for several days. Photos here.


This photo is of the Tibidabo amusement park on the hills behind the city. This being Barcelona it features antique rides, and behind it there is a double-decker church (as in one built on top on another) on top of which is a statue of Jesus, arms outstretched, almost as if he was blessing the park! Well, he did invent fun.

- Greenbelt at the end of August. Again I was on the crew at one of the venues (a throwback to my rock 'n' roll days) and also took part in a session looking at grassroots responses in Manchester to the gang violence issue. This went well, as did the whole weekend. The last night of August saw us in Stratford watching 'Twelfth Night'. Nice.

- Then, a busy two weeks leading up to Daniel's wedding (busy as in creating and printing the Service Booklets from scratch, organising PA and music, cake-baking and transport for people from Brunswick to Sheffield... and... and... and...). The day was brilliant - in the immortal words of the bloke from the A Team: "I love it when a plan comes together." Virtually everything worked out well. Family, friends, a service that was both reverent and fun, then tea and cake and photographs and a surprise "Dan & Tess - The Story" video, then the reception and speeches (including both sets of parents, and PowerPoint), then a Ceilidh. We got home Sunday evening, absolutely Wiped Out, but happy. Photos here.



About ten days before the wedding my mum - Daniel's grandma - was diagnosed with breast cancer. They wanted to operate straight away but she bumped it as she didn't want to miss the wedding. And she did not want anyone else to know about her condition until afterwards. She went in today and the op is tomorrow. You may pray.

Then, on October 2, Alannah heads off to India with Oasis for her gap-year trip...

Judith is back at work, having had to re-apply for her job (along with all the other staff), but still expected to work while the bosses made up their minds whether to re-employ her or not. Puzzled? Do the words 'Education Service' and 'City Council' help? Thought so. The uncertainty, confusion and the simple fact of tasks not getting done due to posts being left unfilled (e.g. Team Leader!) means the whole thing is in a state of some chaos at the moment. More stress.

As for the sabbatical... Well, part of the idea was to prioritise family, so in the last few weeks all other aspects have been mostly on hold. It's due to finish on September 30... I've just booked a flight to Belfast that day to visit mum for a few days (I think I'll be more useful after she comes out of hospital). I'm still hoping to get a few days away next week on solo retreat (same place as where I started - see 'Sabblog, week 1') to try and gather it all together.

Not unsurprisingly, the words 'emotional' and 'roller-coaster' have come to mind recently. Which reminds me of the amusement park in Barcelona with the statue of Jesus looking over it. Today in my email I got someone's newsletter. The opening paragraph contained these words: "As I write this letter the Father is showing me that somebody who is reading it has just discovered that somebody very close to you has been diagnosed with cancer. But don't be afraid! Your loving Father is in control." I'm sometimes a bit suspicious of these sorts of statements which can be like a Christian horoscope, but have experienced enough genuine examples of God speaking in remarkable ways to think this might be another. Impeccable timing. Your prayers would be much valued just now.

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Too much information?

Our week in Keswick was fun, despite some serious rain. I went to about 5 of the convention meetings, and was pleasantly surprised to discover 'Uncle' Clive Calver was the main speaker. This man has a lot to answer for (!) not least employing me in Youth for Christ many years ago. He went to the U.S. ten years ago and is still based there, so it is at least that long since I last met him. Great to hear him in full flow again... I could tell you some stories from YFC days - maybe some other time.

I was commenting elsewhere the other day - a Conversation on ChurchMCR about blogging - and noting the sheer amount of Stuff that is available. Since I began this experiment with blogging I have been reading those of a few other people, each of which has numerous links to more ('Blogrolls', each of which have links to more and so on ad nauseum). A lot of it really interesting stuff, but if I sat here all day every day reading I'd not get through it all. Then there's all the other stuff on the internet. And then there is FaceBook, MySpace etc. I know at least one person who is put off the whole 'Web 2' thing by the volume of information, choice, options and is giving it a wide berth. There's a case for Christians showing a good use of this technology to build relationships, but aware of the need to carefully select and edit material, watch use of time, and be aware of the limitations of virtual versus face-to-face. Aforementioned ChurchMCR is a web2 site seeking to promote just that.



I was thinking about huge quantities of reading material again at Keswick (notice the subtle link) as I stood in one of the three bookshops and gazed out over the tables and shelves covered in books stretching off into the middle-distance. Again, not a chance of reading them all. Add to that the whatever-it-is number of hours teaching given at an event like the convention, all of it available to buy and listen to again on CD, and you have another huge amount of information, again I'm sure mostly edifying and interesting. Edit. Select. Discipline! I managed to restrict the additions to my sabbatical reading list to just two, but even so said list is now longer than when I started - there is just so much available on just about everything. As I've said here before, my head is full of inspiring stuff, now I need to get some specifics. (Still... I feel like I've been at this stage for a while now). I've actually cut back on the reading this last couple of weeks in the hope of letting some of what's gone in already settle a bit.

Is this amount of information a good thing, or too much of a good thing? I can't decide. What do you think?

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

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Chalk and Cheese

We're about to begin another summer (summer? Hah - it's pouring down outside!) bookended by the 'right and left wings' of Christian conferences in that, for the third year running we will be in Keswick next week during Convention time and going to some of the meetings, and then at the end of August going to Greenbelt Festival in Cheltenham. The history of how we got to this point is complex and can wait for another time, but it is fascinating comparing and contrasting the two events. Chalk and cheese.

We've been to some excellent events at Keswick, but I still find myself getting mildly irritated with what I perceive - maybe wrongly - to be a slightly smug, self-satisfied tone emanating from some meetings and leaders. The emphasis is on personal spirituality to the extent that in 2005, a couple of weeks after the 7/7 bombings, at only one of the meetings I was at was this nation-shaking event or the issues behind it even mentioned! Maybe I was at the wrong meetings. Where is the application of the gospel to where people are itching, starting with where they are at rather than with what we have to tell them? Is the Church as represented here just getting older and more irrelevant?

Certainly the age profile at Greenbelt is much younger and there are all sorts of professing Christians who go there who would not be found at Keswick - e.g. Goths, Gays, 'Emerging' Church, post-congregation (of course the opposite also applies!) so levels of relevance and inclusion would appear to be better. We've been to some excellent events at Greenbelt, but I still find myself getting mildly irritated with what I perceive - maybe wrongly - to be a
slightly 'trendy lefty', 'we're more enlightened and intelligent than all those comfortable middle-class church-goers' attitude. The emphasis is on issues - environment, politics, sexuality etc. However, does Greenbelt go too far in the other direction - right out on the edge, far away from the safety, certainty and soundness of Keswick? It's been said you only find out where the line is by stepping over it sometimes.

In 'The Church After Christendom' Stuart Murray talks about different models of church:
- Bounded-set: fixed core and boundaries. Believe then belong. Secure, but restrictive. Exclusive.
- Centred-set: fixed core values; no patrolling of boundaries, good for belonging before believing
- Open-set: neither boundaries or defined centre. Inclusive but undisciplined.
- Fuzzy-set: ill-defined boundaries; liberal, relaxed. Unstable - liable to go to open-set or bounded-set

Keswick seems to me to be for those of the 'bounded set' type of church, Greenbelt ideally for 'centred set' but I wonder sometimes if it is in danger of going 'open set' in it's desire to include everyone, and so lose Christian distinctiveness... not likely to be a problem for Keswick! Or is that the chance you take when you get out of the boat? This relevance and inclusion thing is tricky isn't it? Needless to say it is another issue I've been reading and thinking about over the last while.



The two conferences are very different (I'm trying hard to think of a speaker who has appeared at both conferences and can't. Anyone know of one?), but its good to remember that both are also populated with people sincerely trying to follow Jesus as best they can and he loves them/us all!

P.S. Speaking of chalk, last year I went to the Keswick Convention Bookshop to buy 'Intelligent Church' by Steve Chalke (ouch) and couldn't see it anywhere. I asked the assistant and she, obviously embarrassed, reached into a box hidden under a table and got me a copy. Apparently the leadership at Keswick were concerned that people would be offended if Steve's books were on display. I was offended that they weren't!

P.P.S. Cartoon from here. Check it out.

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A busy weekend

Last weekend was a busy one.

Saturday (07/07/07... oo-er) was the annual Fun Day organised by the 'Friends of Swinton Grove Park'. This is a group of local residents who work with the Council's Leisure department to improve and look after the local park. Judith and I are two-fifths of the current regular membership, and the Fun Day is the biggest event of the year, both in terms of people coming and workload. Other neighbours help out on the day with the various activities (though a few more present when we started setting up at 9.30am would have been good) and the Leisure staff provide things like a generator, gazeebos etc. The recent wet weather meant numbers were down this year to around 300-350 (last year it was over 600), though there was actually no rain to speak of during the day.

It was great to see such a mix of people there from many different ethnic groups - a snapshot of our area really - all getting along and having a good time. The only iffy moment was when the bingo went haywire and the game had to be re-started... they take their bingo seriously round here! All in all a nice bit of community cohesion building in these times of 'terror', though due to the nature of our media (in part a reflection of the news we want. Discuss.) the only place you'll hear about it is right here! If you want to see some photos go here.

Sunday - Early Sunday, 7am early - was Alannah's Car Boot Sale to raise funds for her time in Zimbabwe. Thanks to the generosity of friends and folks at church we had a lot of stuff to sell and it was good fun. We couldn't find a sale on any other day than Sunday, so we had to miss church, joining of course with the many others who do so every week. It was our first time running a stall, but the traders either side and behind us were friendly and helpful, and very interested in what we were raising money for. We had some good conversations with them and a number of the shoppers. The regular traders and shoppers all knew each other and all day there was banter and laughter. In other words, a Sunday Morning community, arguably more open and welcoming than some others I could mention...



Something coming through time and time again in my sabbatical reading is the importance of community and relationships, and how they should be modeled by an outward-facing Church as a taster for the Kingdom of God. The thing is community 'out there' at it's best could teach us a thing or two! We shouldn't be trying to replace the positives of community and relationships already happening, or, perish the thought, breeze in saying, 'Watch, let us do community for you'. But we can add into the mix an awareness of the God who is already present and working among, and so make community three dimensional by adding a vertical element to the horizontal.

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The 'n' word

I turned on the TV earlier this evening and a prog called "Lenny's Britain" was on. This is a series where Lenny Henry travels around the British Isles checking out our sense of humour, what makes people laugh in different places and in various jobs and circumstances. He was on a ferry to Ireland and then travelled to Belfast. So, I took an interest.

In Belfast he met with some Northern Irish comedians who were talking about the rise of racism that was accompanying the influx of immigrants over the last few years now the locals weren't fighting each other so much. One told a story about the apparently innocent use of the word 'nigger' by older people who had never so much as met a black person. Lenny Henry's reaction, spoken in the commentary was as follows: "I'm not so much shocked by the use of the 'n' word, more saddened. There's always a skip in my heartbeat whenever I hear it. And no matter how well-meaning the people are saying it, no matter how fitting the context, the word for me is still taboo."

As it happens this describes quite well my reaction when a few minutes earlier in a clip from his stand-up routine Lenny had used 'Jesus Christ!' as a comic swear word. I'm sure he meant no offence (it was but one of what my friend Geoff Mann called "a million casual blasphemies" in a song we used to do) and I won't be burning an effigy of him. But it reminded me again of our culture's current measures of political correctness and what will or will not be tolerated, and the marginalisation of Christians. Without in any way taking away from the genuineness of the emotion, or the history behind it, is Lenny's sadness at the mention of the 'n' word more valued than mine at the casual exclamation of the 'j' word?

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Stones

Last night was our area Confirmation Service, hosted by Brunswick. All a bit too Anglican for me, but at a basic level a good opportunity to express or re-affirm commitment... and one of those doing so was our daughter Alannah, so naturally we were there to support her.

Of course, as I sat there feeling a bit more non-Anglican than usual, God decided to remind me he can speak through anything!! As people came into the service each was given a small stone. (This is something we have done at Brunswick before, but may have been a bit of a shock to folk from other churches who might have been expecting a hymnbook!) The stone was not a means for us to express our reaction to the sermon (...though, thinking about it... I feel a digression coming on. Must... find... close... bracket...) but for us spectators to also make a fresh affirmation of our commitment by bringing the stones to the front and building a cairn.



As I sat there with my stone I thought, well... I'm part-way through this sabbatical and, as I wrote last time, at a strange stage of having laid everything down as best I can, not knowing what to pick up again or in what way, yet with a head full of inspiring but non-specific stuff and a desire to try to get beyond the 'fishing people out of the river' work to finding out and attempting to deal in some way with the bigger issues of what/who is throwing them in. To cut that very long sentence short, all I can do at this present time is make a marker of my continued trust in God to bring me through this process, hopefully strengthening that trust in that act.

It was as I was thinking this and actually getting up to go down to place my stone that the thought came to me: "It's like I'm shaping up to face Goliath, I've rejected the armour of Saul, and what I need next is the 5 smooth stones". Yowza! Good summary of where I'm up to. I don't think it means I will be given exactly 5 specific actions, but the timing and stone/stones thing was a reassuring God-incidence.

The photo is of our finished cairn at the end of the service. As always, thoughts, comments, chocolate very welcome.

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Some assembly required

Last week I had another day with my 'Spiritual Director' where we chatted, shared and prayed over my sabbatical/study leave so far. This was the second of three of such days we've planned for the start, mid-point and end of this time. So... about half-way in, where are things up to? I mentioned last time about the office clear-out and golf lessons being possible pictures of what is going on in the S/SL. The feeling of clear-out and being taken apart has intensified - I was saying to someone the other day it feels like the bits of my work/ministry are lying around me on the garage floor, waiting for re-assembly (I hope!). It's a strange feeling of lack of specific vision and motivation. Plenty of vaguer vision and inspiration about the church and society, culture, engagement etc coming out of what I've been reading, but nothing coming into focus yet about how exactly I will take some of that and re-enter the fray.



I've also been reminded again of a thought I had back when this S/SL was being considered - that I was like a computer that had been running lots of programmes for ages and was getting sluggish. The best thing to do with a computer in such a situation (free Tech Tip here) is to re-boot... start again just with the basic operating system. The next day (God-incidence?) I came across this quote from Bono: "That to me is the spiritual life. The slow reworking and rebooting of a computer at regular intervals. It has slowly rebuilt me in a better image. It has taken years, though, and it is not over yet" (from 'U2 on U2'). Well, the re-boot has happened and I'm now just running the basic operating system with the choice of what other programmes to add. Lots of possibilities, I can't possibly do them all, and I don't want to go back to a situation where it seemed like I was trying to do them all. (Also, I would like to find a different angle for some things, something that would work better. Too idealist? I don't know. Still thinking this one through. More anon).



I'm hoping and praying the next bit of the S/SL will see some re-assembly, some specifics. But just now it's a little weird and a bit of a struggle... that's probably something to do with impatience. I was reminded again the other day that this is a valuable time in and of itself, not just as a means to an end. And it may not happen again for some time!



I feel a twinge of guilt at the luxury of having someone spend this time focusing on me and what I'm about. I also feel a bit guilty at taking this time out when I see or meet others who seem to be able to just bash on year after year without any visible signs of fatigue, loss of vision, energy etc. Maybe they've got the balance right - the balance I've struggled with for years, leading in the end to a situation of near burn-out. When I end this time and get back involved in stuff (whatever that is to be) I need to establish a pattern or balance of activity that will include relaxation and rest, reflection and study, not in a big block like just now, but in the daily/weekly/monthly/annual round. Could be a challenge given the chaotic nature of the urban context.



As always, those of you who are, thanks for the prayers. All comments, queries, suspicions of heresy, whatever, welcome.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

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